Everything that irritates

 

AKA

When Others Aren’t as Perfect as You Are, Remember Your Past Imperfections

We ALL have a past that includes us being one or more of the following: not as enlightened, not as knowledgeable, not as wealthy, not as spiritual, not as amazing and fantastical of a creator that we are today.

And we have friends or family or other people in our lives that remind us of that Former Self. Sure, we like to say that we love and adore and praise that Former Self because she brought us to this point. That’s what we do when she’s (seemingly) firmly in the rearview mirror, not when she’s standing next to us in the form of our best friend (until a Facebook comment thread says to cut the loss and run) crying about not having enough money/time/love and is just so damn jealous of us and how lucky we have it in our lives and businesses.

We (mostly) believe family love is unconditional and unwavering, so why aren’t we cultivating friendships that are the same? Ones where you feel safe to say to your best friend/former self:

“You do have everything you want. What is it that you have wanted in the past that has led you here? Because everything you have wanted is what you have now.”

Or

“I was jealous, too. I was so envious of [insert someone’s name here that illustrates point]. I thought, ‘Why is she so fucking lucky and I’m not?’ So I watched her and was consumed with hatred and jealousy and anxiety because I wanted what she was having and I didn’t know how to get it so it must’ve been luck on her part. Well, this is how I got lucky, too. [Tell the nitty gritty, gruesome details or maybe the fun, roller-coaster ride, take-life-by-the-balls story. Whatever your story is.]”

Or

Something else along those lines that is your voice, your opinions, and your truth while still being loving and kind and HELPFUL?

Maybe they will still be resentful, still do things “wrong” in your eyes. I challenge you to: Communicate still, have conversations still, be their friend still.

Let me ask you this:

How the fuck did you learn how to get your kickass life?

Think back to the days when you were stumbling around, not sure where you were going in life or spirituality or jobs or business or school or love. Think back to when you were throwing yourself the biggest pity party this planet’s seen.

Think back to when you said and did and believed the exact same things that you find so imperfect in others today. Because they are there, in your past, in the rearview mirror. Your Former Self? She is there.

And instead of thinking the worst of her and her intentions, questioning whether she belongs in your life at all, becoming angry that she’s “bringing” this “negativity” into your life?

Empathize with her [yourself].

Forgive her [yourself].

Love her [yourself].

Relationships are the fertile ground for forgiveness lessons. Your friends are the plants. Are you going to water them and forgive them and love them? Or leave them to go back into the ground for winter only for them to come back in spring anew, the same lessons still to be learned?

And remember: all of our souls are going to the same place in the end [Home]. The exact same place—regardless of how long it took each piece to get there.

So when others aren’t as perfect as we are, it’s up to us to remember that we are imperfect as well. And one of those imperfections is our own perception of how others should be “more like us.” Let’s upgrade our perceptions—while we are also upgrading everything else in our lives—to one that is loving and tender. And when it’s aligned with your soul and your calling—assist your loved ones when they ask for some help as they move through their own forgiveness lessons. The journey is much less lonely when we take it on together. And really, most often, it’s with a part of our Former Self and she’s a riot 😉

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PS. Want to join a TRIBE of UNAPOLOGETICALLY AWESOME Women?  Of course you do!  Come be Un-fucking-apologetic with the rest of us 🙂